Sunday, January 27, 2019

There's No In-Between

I try my best to walk my walk and to talk my talk. Recently I had a lapse in practicing what I preach.

I am an evangelist of Mark Manson's Law of Fuck Yes or No. The gist of the law is that if you can't enthusiastically say "Fuck Yes" to something that crosses your path, then that something should not be pursued. Though Manson's law was intended to help navigate romantic relationships, the law is apropos to all aspects of life.

A couple of months ago, something crossed my path. Though a few cells in my body said Fuck Yes, most cells were on-the-fence. For all intents and purposes, I was ambivalent. Despite being in the in-between, I decided to pursue the something that crossed my path.

In some instances, being ambivalent is inconsequential; for example, I occasionally hem-and-haw about whether it's healthy to eat soy products. But when ambivalence infiltrates the quality of one's life, not to mention someone else's, ambivalence is a pretty shitty place to be. Like Manson writes, "If you're in the grey area to begin with, you've already lost."

Though I had reservations from the get-go, I justified my ambivalence in the name of growth. I told myself that if I was able to mature my feelings from being in the in-between to being Fuck-Yes, then I would be a better person.

Like a cancer, my ambivalence began to metastasize, slowly poisoning my authenticity and well-being. My malaise eventually grew to a toxic level. I'd had enough. I mustered energy to make a change. I said Fuck Yes to shedding that something that wasn't serving me.

After so much time spent wrestling with my ambivalence, I came to learn that while growth implies discomfort, discomfort does not necessarily imply growth. Being ambivalent was not going to grow me into a better person.

I also came to learn that attempts to justify ambivalence impose no influence on the Law of Fuck Yes or No. A Fuck Yes is a yes. A no is a no. Anything in-between is also a no. As an evangelist of the Law of Fuck Yes or No, I thought I already knew this. But sometimes the School of Hard Knocks doles out tests to gauge whether we really know what we claim to know and whether we really talk our talk and walk our walk.

I'm in remission now, focusing on restoring my healthy, authentic self. Moving forward, I will do a better job of practicing what I preach. I will only pursue that which is a Fuck Yes. There is no in-between. Anything that isn't a Fuck Yes is a no.

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